words

on the Perfect Woman

Whenever someone asks me what type of woman I like, I never answer with physical attributes. I think it‘s weird for a dude who’s been consistently described as a solid Midwest 6 to say, “Yeah she’s gotta be really pretty and in great shape.” So when I am asked, I usually just respond with my favorite personality trait: I like ‘em serious. Like, overly-serious. Almost scary.

Casey Salengo breaks down the perfect woman.

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Christian Rangel
on the Little Things

It’s little things like needing a bag with your purchase at Best Buy to feel safe. Little things like cashiers holding your $20 up to the light before ringing you up. Little things like employees eyeing you as you roam the aisles looking for some chips and Gatorade. Little things that you don’t realize others have to put up with every goddamn day. Little “fuck you’s” from society sprinkled throughout daily encounters.

I can’t even imagine how infuriating that shit must be.

Roy Wood Jr. breaks those little things down and makes it funny as fuck.

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Christian Rangel
on Tinder: Sending Messages Only The Insane Would Find Captivating

I remember working a tour with an especially rambunctious crew in the summer of 2016. I had just quit my agency job and took this job out of desperation. The thought of living out of Red Roof Inn for the next 6 weeks with a group of guys I didn’t know had zero appeal, but I was out of options.

It turned out to be one of the most fun jobs I’ve ever had. These guys were absolute savages. I mean that in the best way possible. We were just a bunch of kids who came from entirely different walks of life, yet still shared a fond appreciation for cheap beer, psychedelics, and swiping on Tinder.

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Christian Rangel
on Meeting Your Heroes

Over the years, we’ve seen so many people fall from grace. Small-town heroes to big-time stars; It doesn’t matter who you are or what you’ve done. If and when you fuck up, it’s over. Instant cancellation.

But maybe our heroes were never deserving of such admiration? Maybe we should stop putting these figures on pedestals. At least that way, when they do fall, it won’t be such a spectacular whirlwind of a shit show.

Matt Rife shares a story about meeting his hero.

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Christian Rangel
on Nini's Deli

The following is a timeline of the events involving Nini’s Deli, owner Juan “Juany” Riesco and his family, specifically brother Jose Riesco. This is an attempt to bring every detail to light in order to allow the public to make their own decision to either support or discontinue support for Nini’s Deli and Chicago Native, Juan’s apparel brand.

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Christian Rangel
on The Last Great American Rock Band

The crowd is a rousing mix of laughter and anticipation. There’s a group of people on our left; old enough that I’m certain must have, at some point, by dare, decision, or pressure, taken some hallucinogenic before homeroom back in the ’70’s. Some of them pass around a flask while the rest huddle amongst themselves to protect the lighter, ensuring the joint is sparked without issue. A distant chant of, “STP! STP! STP!” soon rips through the crowd like a wildfire until the entire venue screams in unison. Stagehands break down old equipment, move in new guitars and test drums and mics. The distorted, chaotic opening act Cage the Elephant have stopped playing and retreated to the back, maybe even a bit earlier than planned, making me believe they are probably decent men on some level. While I commend them for their efforts, I came to see the greatest band of all-time: Stone Temple Pilots.

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Christian Rangel
on My Childhood: Dr. Seuss

I recently stumbled across this video that shows Dr. Seuss’ darker art. Almost like he had an alter ego, Seuss used darker colors, sharper angles, and drew more sinister characters. It’s awesome, mainly because I’m sure he tripped absolute-fucking-balls before creating these. The best part is that I feel like a kid again, rediscovering an entirely new body of work from one of the artists I look up to most.

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Christian Rangel
on Motherhood

My mom raised me as a single parent, juggling two jobs, undergrad classes, and everything else on her plate while making my Halloween costumes from scratch every year. She’s my best friend and the single hardest working person I know.

That being said, this Bill Burr bit on #moms is still fucking killer.

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Christian Rangel
on Tik Tok


I struggled with understanding @tiktok for a long time. I didn’t really see anything except 15 year-old kids dancing to shitty music. Everything I hate in life, rolled into one looping clip. It was weird. What the fuck am I supposed to do on this thing?

So I did a little research. Turns out there’s a darker side to @tiktok where you can post ANYTHING you want! It’s awesome!

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Christian Rangel
A Guide to Social Distancing

Isolation is a strategy employed by health officials during a pandemic to slow the spread of the illness in a population. It is also a strategy I’ve employed to avoid seeing other people on a daily basis for the better part of three years.

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Christian Rangel
on Injustice and America Today: Let's Talk While We Wait for Our Food

Can things get any worse? I mean, obviously they can but I don’t even want to imagine how. Mass shootings, Charlottesville, that Muslim Ban. kids in cages, Rush Limbaugh getting the Medal of Freedom, Ignorance, fear, prejudice, and hatred everywhere you look. Some dude was literally asked, mid-speech, why he didn’t stay in Mexico. How did we manage to—Hi, yeah, can we please get an order of the potstickers and beef asparagus skewers to get started, and another round, thank you—*back to group* how did we manage to take such a huge leap backwards so quickly?

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Christian Rangel
on Fits: Hoodies

Of course, there’s no such thing as a bad hoodie. If it’s got all the essential ingredients—cozy fabric, roomy hood, etc.—it’s worth your time, in at least some capacity. Even the sloppiest, bleach-stained-iest hoodie around has the ability to take your enjoyment of a Sunday afternoon on the couch from an 8 to a full-on, rock-hard 10.

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Christian Rangel