on Valentine's Day: A Gift Guide for Him
Doesn’t matter if you think Valentine’s Day is a blessed celebration of eternal love or a colossal fucking scam perpetrated by Big Greeting Card—if you got a girl, you’re celebrating it. And that very celebration will be infinitely better if you’re given a gift you actually like.
So here we are, a week or so until V-Day. Don’t know what to ask for? Here’s a handpicked selection that includes a wardrobe-building essential, new toys, and some badass upgrades to ask for or get yourself before the 14th rolls around.
(If you thought this was going to be one of those what-to-get-her guides, well, this ain’t it.)
ESNTLS HOODIE
The only hoodie you’ll ever need. Tailored to fit perfectly, especially in the shoulders, arms, and forearms. Sleek, comes in different colors, and only $60. Throw it under an overcoat or leather jacket. Then hit the town with your honey. 50 Cent had it wrong when he said, “Death gotta be easy, ‘cuz life is hard.”
This shit is easy!
ESNTLS: $60
THE GOOD REVEREND’S GUIDE TO INFUSED SPIRITS
Recipes for "cleansing solutions." (Secret ingredient: tons of alcohol.)
Amazon: $15.74
RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD
Probably the best $70 your girl will ever spend.
Installation: unbox it, unscrew the protective cap, put thread tape on the existing overhead pipe, and screw it on tightly with a wrench. Make sure it’s level. That’s it. Your everyday mini getaway is a couple mouse clicks away.
Amazon: $69.99
MAGNETIC CABLE ORGANIZER
Tired of picking all of your charger cables up off of the floor? Organize your shit. Girls like organization, and yours probably does, too.
Amazon: $14.99
A GETAWAY
An experiential gift is always a good idea, especially since it's also for yourself. These cabins are around 200 sq ft, come with all sorts of shit like cooking gear, an actual toilet, and a working shower.
Meet some other couples. Enjoy a campfire. Make some s’mores. Sit back and see the stars.
Getaway: $180/night
Say what you want about Valentine’s Day, but doing something genuinely kind and a little bit over the top for someone else is a good vibe and we need more good vibes right now.