rangel does not exist

words

on Hoarding Toilet Paper Like a Fucking Asshole

Toilet paper isn't the only thing you can wipe your ass with. The hierarchy is as follows:

  • Toilet paper (obviously)

  • Paper towels

  • Dryer sheets

  • Empty toilet paper rolls (aka “poo horn”)

  • Least favorite pages of the Bible

  • That love letter you hand-wrote to someone you love but never sent, yet keep and read aloud to yourself whenever you get wasted

  • White Sox apparel

  • Your ponytail (CUT OFF FIRST!)

  • $100 bills (especially if you’re a CEO of a TP company)

  • Coffee filters (should be higher on the list actually)

  • Android phone

  • Your dog’s poop in the yard from a few days ago that is now petrified

  • Stale bread

Christian Rangel