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Everyone's Wingman Part VII: Hell on Earth

Here is the 7th installment of Everyone’s Wingman, my advice column that no one wanted or asked for. This started as a joke, obviously, because why would anyone ever ask me for advice! I’m basically the guy who stumbled in, relied a little too heavily on his $1 Coors Light joie de vivre, made it to the middle, and has no problem letting you in for a look around. That’s my only qualification here. You come to me as a last resort or when you have absolutely nothing to lose.

Anyways, if you’d like to submit a question or request a write-up, you can head to rangeldoesnotexist.com/sip. Just don’t ask me for financial advice. I will bankrupt you.

My husband and I live in New Orleans where the summers are unbearably humid. This would be fine if he didn’t sweat excessively, but he does. As we hit the final stretch of wedding season, Any tips on how to keep from getting too sweaty and still look like a gentleman?

Take it from a guy who’s gained weight recently and sweats more now than ever: Hydrate regularly. Gold Bond is your friend. Walk slowly. Keep a cool head. Avoid water-based styling products that will just sweat into your eyes. Dress in light colors and lightweight fabrics. Of course, take all of this with a grain of salt because summer in NOLA truly is hell on earth.

As for that wedding, a linen suit will do just fine. Now alls you gotta do is find a matching dress.

What are those sunglasses JFK's always wearing in photos? They're like Ray-Bans, but...not? How do I get my hands on a pair?

Everybody thinks Kennedy was wearing Ray-Bans, but his trademark shades were American Optical Saratogas. Nearly impossible to find only a few years ago, they are now available on AO’s site for a whopping $205. AO’s production facility is based right here in Chicago, so you probably won’t have to wait long if you decide to pull the trigger.

Of course, it’s worth noting that Warby Parker offers a decent alternative priced at $95.

If you do go with the Saratogas, guard them with your life. Years ago a girlfriend lost a pair of both my Ray-Ban Junior RJ9057Ss and RB2447Ns, both in tortoise, and I almost dumped her. Should have.

I recently inherited my dad's gold Rolex Datejust with small diamonds as hour marks. It’s still in great condition. My only problem is that it is twenty-eight millimeters and really does look small. How small can a man's watch be? Does this look too feminine?

I know that it’s fashionable to wear bigger, heavier watches, but in the end this was your dad’s watch and his taste will prevail. Wear it with pride.

everyone's wingmanChristian Rangel