on Hookups: In Defense of Getting Strange Ass
Look, let’s start with this: I am no way proud of having written this piece. I started an IG account to promote the website, and I’m not even going to post this shit on there. While this isn’t a topic you’ll find me droning on and on about at bars, it is something that I have gone back-and-forth on enough to warrant further consideration.
You see, I started this website because of a need to finally take a stance. I’ve been so carefree my entire life. About everything. I was good either way. I didn’t really care about anything. If I were at a bar with friends and they started debating something, I would just wait for them to finish so we could keep drinking.
Writing about topics like what is “cool”, my mental health, dating, friendships, cheating, etc. forces me to have an opinion. No longer am I the guy bouncing around the walls of the world. I am actually able to take a stance, to care about things, and to be able to articulate my arguments. This website is basically a time capsule of where I’m at as a 30-year old man in America.
Anyways, let’s talk about getting lots of strange ass.
Is it acceptable?
In short, yes. But to understand why this is on my mind lately, let me take you back a couple weeks. I was out one night drinking with some friends, and the topic of getting strange ass came up. In short, a friend of mine went to a music festival and hooked up with two women on different days. Our other friend thought this was disgusting. Not because of the obvious hygiene issues that come from banging one out in the middle of the day, in the hot sun, and then proceeding to dance and drink and be outside. Not because there was molly involved. Solely because of the act of sleeping with multiple women within 24 hours.
Arguably, the supreme joy of being single is that you’re completely free to have sex with more than one person. Music festivals are apparently the ideal place for crop dusting horniness with other singles who also possess abs and bleached smiles. (I assume, anyway. Admittedly I have not been to a music festival because, like tuna salad, I hate literally every ingredient involved.) Other than molly, what else are you at the music festival to do?
Even outside this extra-horny setting, my female friend ignores the fact that sometimes, just sometimes, the gods governing one’s sex life get their shit together for once, and there are periods in life where you are just on. Like nailing a job interview simply because you don’t need the job, sometimes the energy boost you get from a fun bang sesh carries over into the next night, and you exude some unquantifiable vibe (sorry for saying vibe) that attracts more fun boning opportunities. There’s a scene in Under the Tuscan Sun wherein a character describes chasing ladybugs, never finding any, growing weary and falling asleep in the grass, only to wake up covered in ladybugs. Perhaps that’s what happened.
Either way, the verdict? There’s nothing wrong with hooking up with two different people on two consecutive nights.