on Writer's Block: Let's See If I Can Get Out of This Funk

This is my dumb little morning-pages exercise. You can write about anything as long as you write something. So I am writing that this is stupid and that I am sitting in my living room like a jackass. Yay. Woo hoo, I am a good writer now since I am writing “anything no matter what it is” on my morning pages, even though I haven’t written anything of substance in a month. Yay, everything is working just like it’s supposed to. Ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass. Japanese. Balled-up clouds! Whatever. Nothing is going to happen just because I wake up early and there is more love and beauty in this world than we could ever imagine. I was at Home Depot once. I must have been, like, I don’t know, nine or ten, and I found $180. A fat wad of cash just laying there in aisle 12. Obviously that’s not a lot of money, but at age nine? Ten even? Christ, I was fucking rich! At the time, that was more money than I could have ever imagined to be in a single place. It felt like I had found a zillion, gajillion dollars or something. Anyways, isn’t that how it must be with love and beauty, too? Seriously, don’t you think so? You know, like, there’s so much in this world that we’re all bound to find an abundance of it sooner or later. And not just an abundance, but an amount even greater than we ever conceived possible.

The crazy thing is that these moments are totally random. They catch you out of nowhere and quickly disappear. Maybe you have your own story of a beautiful moment that doesn’t include finding money. Maybe yours was when you found an old cell phone and thought to yourself, “Man, I used to text so much ass with this thing.” And for a second there you transported to a simpler time, becoming that 23-year old degenerate again. Even if only for a second, total bliss.

I guess I can end this here. I’m running late for work.

Oh, and for the record, I voted to turn that money into a manager. Alas, I was outnumbered and quietly accepted my cut of the loot.