on Being Too Smooth w/ It
Truth be told, most of us tend to put pressure onto ourselves based solely on the fact that we believe that those in our peripherals actually notice what we do. But, believe it or not, no gives a fuck. It’s true! Think about all of those times you laid awake in bed giving yourself a hard time about some random awkward moment that happened years ago. Trust me, you’re the only one still thinking about it.
And this is coming from a guy who used to be straight-up awkward, son. Plenty of moments to make you toss and turn over here, pal. That the teenage years of one’s life are tough is a truism, but consider the circumstances of this particular scenario: being an overweight teen with a collection of “husky” jeans grouped with a pair of chafing thighs and protruding belly, all topped off with what would become a “trademark“ weed-whacker haircut. Imagine growing into and out of these awkward teenage years while attending a predominantly-Irish high school whose décor and daily schedule can only be described as full-bloom, raging St. Patty’s Day pride. Have I mentioned that I am Mexican?
In my life, I have given a fuck about many people and many things. And when I give a fuck, I really give a fuck. But I have also not given a fuck about many people and many things. And when I don’t give a fuck, I really don’t give a fuck. And those fucks I have not given have made all the difference in being too smooth with it.
People often say the key to confidence and success in life is to simply “not give a fuck.” Indeed, we often refer to the strongest, most admirable people we know in terms of their lack of fucks given. Like “Oh, look at Susie doing another keg stand, she doesn’t give a fuck.” Or “Did you hear that Tom called the company president an asshole and still got a raise anyway? Holy shit, that dude does not give a fuck!” Or “Jason got up and ended his night with his Bumble date after 20 minutes. He said he wasn’t going to listen to her bullshit anymore. Man, that guy does not give a fuck.”
When you think of those people, you realize that they are not indifferent. Rather, they are not worried about being different. And they’re certainly not worried about making things awkward. They know what they want and allot their fucks accordingly. The confidence that comes from this self-awareness is what makes someone just too damn smooth with it.
And that’s the dirty little secret, isn’t it? I’m not saying that you’re not supposed to care about anything. If you ever meet someone who doesn’t care about anything, get the hell out of there because that person has nothing to lose.
I suppose the reason I was never smooth with it is because I just cared too much about everything. Ever since I can remember, I’ve always been a little awkward. A little too much out there. Not only that, but I’ve always been present in the awkwardness. But it was an awkwardness that only I cared about.
The peak of this was high school. I’m about as white-washed a Mexican as you’ll ever find. Back then, I was too “white” for the Mexicans and too “Mexican” for the whites. My friends spent their teens tagging. I spent mine listening to The Strokes and making my own comics.
I guess it’s translated to adulthood, too, because it still feels like I’m that kid who’s left without a partner after the class breaks off into pairs before dissecting frogs. It’s probably why friends’ girlfriends never thought to hook me up with one of their friends. Or why my buddies always have dating advice that, to me, seems fucking insane. They never gave a fuck about any awkwardness and it opened more doors for them. They’re just all too smooth w it.
Shane Gillis shares some advice from a friend much smoother than him.