on Jr.

I never told you how much you mean to me, Cuz. I didn’t know how. I still don’t. But I will try.

You were always someone I looked up to and aspired to be like. You looked out for so many of us in the family, putting everyone before yourself. I wanted to be like that.

My favorite memories are of you and Edgar. When you two were at the cookout, man, that was the place to be. The best stories. The funniest jokes. You’d get Edgar to tell us some crazy shit from back in the day.

“Alright, so check this out,” he’d start, before pausing so you both could make sure everyone was good. If anyone was hungry, you’d move the conversation to the grill. If we needed anything, you guys took care of it.

“No se preocupen, ahorita regresamos.”

I remember y’all letting me ride along on some of those trips. Me! The quiet kid who dressed like an accountant (thanks, Mom).

And instead of letting me sit in the back seat, you talked to me. Didn’t matter how old I was, you treated me like one of the guys. I struggled with social settings after my dad died. It felt like everyone else’s life went back to normal after a few months, and normalcy was just a memory for me.

But there I was, happy as hell and shooting the shit with Jr. and Edgar. Man, this made me feel like I had arrived.

Thank you for being there, Cuz. I’m sorry for never telling you in person how much you mean to me. I will in the next life, when we meet again.